


As if by Lightning

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Theatre AU, andrew is a tech and steven is an actor and you can imagine how good thats gonna go, andrew is basically me, shane and ned are minor characters though, spring awakening - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:55:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Andrew hated actors. Their fake happiness, blatant loudness, eager to please attitude, and overall feeling of superiority over technicians were a little more than the lighting designer could handle.At least, that's how he felt before he met Steven.(Theatre AU where Andrew is the lighting designer for Spring Awakening and Steven is an actor with a backbone.)updated every two weeks. next update: june 15th, 2018.(new schedule so i actually post updates on time, sorry about that)





	1. Auditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We begin our story on a day that started like any other, but quickly turned to be as atypical as the musical being produced. Also: casting calls, favors, muffins, and actors. 
> 
> -Edited on 4/20/18 for small inconsistencies-

The Theatre has always been a sort of calm constant for Andrew. Although the hours he may put in be back-breaking and lucidly long, they would prove worthwhile whenever a show would come together, each light perfectly hung and focused and the design perfectly carried through.

Most times he was an electrician helping a higher up to get across their concept, but this show was different. Jen pulled a few too many strings to get him this lighting design gig: his first design gig since college. He definitely owed Jen one.

Andrew just didn't think he'd have to return the favor so quickly. It was disheartening, in a way: to see his theatre, the one he had put blood, sweat, and tears into for over year go from a calm force to a chaotic presence in a matter of an hour. The cause of this madness?

Open casting call. The day where newcomers and acting veterans alike would come together to the crowd over the poor manager- or in this case, the poor lighting designer who was roped into it- shoving resumes in every direction with overly polite smiles that matched their overly smiley headshots.

Andrew thanked god he wasn't an actor. The entire process appeared more like a cattle call than a casting call.

Being the Technician In Charge, Jen would give the thumbs up to him to wrangle the next group of three to go inside the audition room, and he would project his voice over the musical crowd for the three numbers. As if by telekinesis, the crowd in front of him would part until three people emerged, all having nametags containing the numbers scrawled on them that confirmed they were next. Once all three were accounted for, he'd shove the actors into the audition room as soon as possible, lest the directors realize the mess Andrew wasn't taking charge of outside the room. The actors still uncalled would break from their haze and go back to being the overly loud, musical mess they became until Jen poked her head out again.

To say it was wild was an understatement to Andrew. He never understood how theatre- a beautiful, calming art- could manifest into actor chaos at the snap of a finger. He made a mental note to never be slightly sarcastic to any check-in person ever again. It took bones to be the Technician in Charge.

Andrew was staring off into an unfixed point, thinking about a Technician in Charge _without_ any bones, but was cut off from his mental image whenever a six-foot man came barreling towards him. 

The man barely composed himself before nose-diving into Andrews small table. Which, to be completely honest, was for the best- Andrew was at his limit with actors already and the collision probably would've made him leave the building and never return. The unnamed boy, who Andrew named in his head "Collision Boy", took a moment to straighten his shirt before looking up and flashing a wide grin at Andrew. It still felt false but of a different breed: it felt more of a false confidence than a false kindness.

"Am I too late to get a number?" Collision Boy finally met Andrews gaze. 

Andrew is not an actor. He does not exaggerate for fun or for a profession. But at that moment, he thanked Jen, Thespis, and any other omnipresent force out there that contributed to making his and Collision Boy's world collide because Andrew had never seen a shade of eyes so brown he felt like he was sinking in a mud puddle. 

Collision Boy, not a mind reader, took Andrew's gaze to be an angry one and responded by shoving his resume in Andrews' face. 

"Here's that. Uh, my resume. I should've started with that. I'm sorry if I came off on the wrong foot, the subway is more confusing than I imagined. I thought I was going to miss it entirely for the past twenty minutes."

Andrew nodded understandably, taking the boy's resume and setting it on the bottom of the stack. Before he let the stack of papers cover the newest addition, he hesitated to find what Collison Boy's real name was:

Steven Lim.

Andrew like it. It seemed to suit him. It didn't have the same ring as "Collison Boy", but it would do.

"Don't worry about it, happens to the best of us. Your number is ninety-six, Steve. I'm calling actors three at a time, so just wait until you hear your number," Andrew explained, going into his Technician In Charge speech while scrawling a 9 and 6 on a nametag and handing it to Steven.

"Thank you, uh…" They both stood for a beat before Andrew realized that pause was meant for him- or more importantly, his name.

"Andrew."

"Thank you, Andrew. And the name's Steven, with an 'n'." Steven flashed another smile at Andrew, a genuine one, and Andrew couldn't help to smirk back. An actor with a backbone? That was something he could get used to. He didn't even realize he had said the boy's name in the first place, let alone mess it up. Andrew watched Steven for a few moments until he disappeared into the crowd of actors. 

Andrew returned back to stare at his unfixed point with a new thought. A bad thought. A thought that maybe he should give actors a chance.

_________________________

The open casting call officially ended at 6:30, and Andrew already had made up plans in his mind to take the A train and get home by 7 to work on his lighting design. However, those plans were quickly switched out as Jen offered to let him sit in on what was his favorite part of auditions: deciding who gets a callback. He sat quietly in the meeting room of the theatre, surrounded by the other Technicians In Charge: Shane, the director, Jen, the stage manager, and Ned, the production manager. He knew he was only there because Jen knew he always wanted to sit in on one of these meetings, but that didn't stop his unbridled joy of quietly sitting as the others chatted. 

Out of the 97 (yes, one person showed up even later than Steven with an N) people who auditioned, Shane only brought up the names of about thirty. He inquired Andrew about how a few carried themselves outside of the audition room but most of his answers were the same. Near the end of the stack of papers (that Andrew assumed was the "yes" stack), Ned slid a headshot over to Andrew and asked: 

"What was he like when you met him?"

The headshot was of Steven, presumably old as the boy he met had dark hair and the headshot blond, but Andrew could spot Collison Boy's eyes from a mile away.

Andrew realized he probably shouldn't bring up the whole "Collison Boy" thing. Andrew didn't want to accidentally hurt Steven's chances, even though it wasn't his decision. After a brief pause, Andrew raised his eyebrows in faux realization before speaking, 

"I do, actually. I accidentally called him Steve, and he corrected me. He was nice, the first actor with a backbone I've met." Everyone nodded their head, and Shane scribbled some things down onto a notebook.

"I think we'll have him come back to read for Ernst and Otto." Jen nodded, and Ned nodded, so Andrew nodded too before a realization dawned on him:  
1\. There would be callbacks. That he would probably have to work.  
2\. He wasn't that upset with that fact, because Steven with an N (a nickname Andrew picked out during the casting call that he felt like had a better flow than Collison Boy) would be there.

The rest of meeting went on, Shane and Jen going through to select the two or three people for each part that would be called back. Andrew tuned out their conversation after a while, only thinking about what he was going to say at the callbacks to Steven.

________________________

Callbacks came sooner than expected- it was three days after the casting call that Andrew was back sitting behind the same fold-up audition table. Jen was slightly suspicious whenever Andrew volunteered to work the front table again for callbacks, but ultimately let him because the assistant stage manager was still out with the flu. Her suspicions only rose after Andrew asked how the casting process worked. Andrew let her be- there was no reason getting Jen's hopes up that he was looking into dating again over someone he barely knows- he hadn't fallen for an actor since high school.

Okay, maybe  _fallen_ was a bit too far. Andrew hadn't had a feeling for an actor past tolerable since he dated one centuries ago. It was a bit to process. He didn't know how to approach the subject if he even should (would it be weird? they were adults, right?) and settled on curbing this emotion by stress baking muffins the night before. 

Unlike the initial casting call, Steven was one of the first to show up to the theatre- meeting Andrew with a genuine grin as he strode to the table. 

"Hello stranger," Steven welcomed Andrew with another copy of his resume and headshot.

"Hello, Steve!" Steven clicked his tongue jokingly in disapproval.

"Ohhh, don't do me like that Andrew! I thought we were close friends."

Andrew internally screamed inside his head- he didn't think past what he was going to say.  

"You're right Steven. After all, I do know your... height and vocal part, which is more than I know for most of my friends."

"Memorizing my resume now?"

 _Shitshitshitshit_. Steven quirked his eyebrow as Andrew started to redden, breaking eye contact. Steven notices and follows up with, "I didn't say it was a bad thing. It's just unfair- I don't know your vocal part."

"I'm not a singer," Andrew mumbled as he scribbled Steven's name on a nametag. That was another thing he learned from Jen- casting call gets numbers, callbacks get names. He grabbed the lines for Ernst and Otto as well as the vocal cut from "Touch Me", handing it over to a confused Steven.

"Everyone's a singer! Just because you're not an actor doesn't mean you're not a singer-" Steven was cut off as the door opened, the next few actors walking in. Curse the New York Subway for being on schedule for once in its life. Steven took a step back to let Andrew do his job before waving bye, stepping to the opposite side of the room to focus on the papers he was handed.

Steven and Andrew didn't get chance to talk again before the callback. The room was almost entirely full of actors whenever Jen walked out of the audition room, everyone's gaze following the change in movement. She cleared her throat to ensure everyone's attention before declaring:

"Hello everyone, thank you for finding your way back to Alley Theatre. We would just like to hear more from you before we make our final casting decisions. Please follow me into the auditioning room and find a seat. Bring your things with you."

People followed in a small line into the room, Steven being towards the back of the line. Jen went first, only pausing to collect the resumes from Andrew. Andrew gave a small thumbs up to Steven as he finally passed, receiving a wink in return. Andrew was thankful the room was clear so nobody could see his face redden again. 

The Bad Thought came back up, but this time, just as a thought. Andrew felt no negative connotations toward it. He thought that he should give actors a second chance after all.


	2. chapter two

After callbacks, Andrew was left out of the audition loop- for good reason. The show would open in a month whether or not lighting was ready, and Andrew began to devote all work time he could on finalizing his lighting plot to present it and the design to Shane.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. He changed outfits three times before the meeting- four if you count the fact that he rolled up his sleeves minutes before the others walked in. In the room was Shane, Ned, Jen, his Master Electrician Keith, among a few other people Andrew couldn't pinpoint. It was the same meeting room Andrew got to sit in for the callback discussion. In a weird way, he felt like Steven was with him. Rubbing off the high confidence energy Andrew desperately needed. As people began to inspect Andrew's gigantic lighting plot spread across the table, Andrew took this as a time to begin. Shakily clearing his throat, he stated:

"Hello everyone. I'm Andrew, the lighting designer. This is my Spring Awakening."

\---

The meeting overall went well. Not great, but not disastrous like Andrew imagined. Ned and Keith offered a few changes to help the plot work in their small space. Andrew shook everyone's hands as they went out, hoping his ideas would at least keep his name ingrained to some of them. The design was adventurous and the plot for the space atypical, but he knew it was needed for as complex a show as Spring Awakening. Alone in the room, Andrew had a moment to recoup. While rolling up the plot, he found himself break out into a grin.

People liked his ideas. Theatre people, who had seen other shows and had good taste, liked his ideas. And were going to pay him to do them. It was wild.

He received a text from Adam as he was putting away his laptop, stating: **hey man how'd it go?? I am stopping by to drop off some equipment, do you want to get lunch?**

Adam Bianchi was more than a coworker to Andrew. He was the first person to talk to Andrew when he first joined Studio B (their theatre) as an electrician, a low notch on the totem pole. It started out with a simple hello and offer to show him around the space, but over a five-week production of _West Side Story_ , they fell into the friendship they were in now. They shot off jokes, bet on which actors would forget lines, and more as they sat in the tech booth behind the audience- Adam manning the soundboard and Andrew working the lighting one.

They both didn't force the other to talk and enjoyed their silences as much as their banter. They bonded over stress baking, leading to the short-lived bake-off that consisted during the last week of Big Fish, Studio B's last show. The run crew techs judged their foods but ultimately ended in a tie (at least, that's what they both say. Individually, they both believe they won). Andrew set him up with a mutual friend Elizabeth, who Adam has been dating since. Adam had been trying to return the favor ever since, but there weren't as many nice gay guys in New York as you'd think.

Andrew shot a message back: **hell yeah let's go somewhere new..** ,, italian **? And it went good, I will tell you more when I see you. whats your ETA**

Andrew finished packing up and headed towards the stage door on the other side of the building. He figured Adam planned the time so that Andrew could help carry equipment in (since Adam refused to outwardly ask for help, not that Andrew minded).

Andrew reached the door when he heard his phone chime. Shifting his rolled up plot to the other hand, Andrew reached his hand in his back pocket when the door in front of him flew open. Taken aback and given no time to respond, the person hit Andrew's left side head on. In a split second decision, Andrew grabbed the culprit's wrist, not planning what to say after. He at least wanted to see the boy's face. As soon as the culprit looked him in the eyes, Andrew knew he was a goner. It was:

Steven. With an N.

He was hired. And staring back at Andrew with the same wonderment. This stare held for a few more seconds before Andrew yanked his hand back like he was touching a hot stove. This action made Steven break into a half-hearted chuckle. Andrew returned the gesture, mustering up the words:

"We need to stop meeting like this."

"I agree with that," Steven mentioned, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket. Their dynamic felt different than it typically was, and Andrew liked it. They were finally on the same level. It was stranger and stranger, not actor or technician.

It felt refreshing. Until Steven continued:

"So… are you a part of Spring Awakening? If you don't mind me asking."

He couldn't admit it, but Andrew did mind. He could lie and say he was a random person who was called in but then their dynamic would change again. Actor-passerby wasn't the same. The whole ordeal didn't seem fair to him. Snapping out of his thoughts, Andrew noticed he was taking too long to answer.

"I'm actually the lighting designer, I just finished my design concept meeting," Andrew motioned to the rolled up plot in his hand as evidence. "You?"

"I got cast- as Ernst. In the show."

"Congratulations." Andrew shot Steven a genuine smile, which Steven gladly reciprocated.

"You too. I can't imagine designing a show."

There is was. Steven was already creating the professional divide and Andrew wanted to scream- all actors thought designing a show was hard, Steven wasn't any different. Which it was hard, creativity doesn't grow on trees, but he didn't need to be reminded of it. Andrew caught himself before he rolled his eyes- from their small encounters in the past, Andrew knew Steven had genuine intentions. It was more than he could say for actors in the past. He composed himself and responded:

"It is. I like it though."

"Is that what's in your hand?" Andrew realized Steven was now looking at this rolled up plot. Andrew needed to abort mission before Steven asked to see it- he'd fall into a lighting rabbit hole if he rolled it back out.

"Yeah, but it's not complete yet. I don't want to talk your ear off." Steven made an expression that Andrew could only relate to a religious grandmother who you just told you don't go to church as often.

"Well, I'd like to see it when it's done. Here," Steven exclaimed, digging into his hoodie pocket to retrieve a pen. After a few scribbles on his own palm, Steven held his hand out for Andrews.

Andrew still hadn't connected the dots yet. In a way, his mind didn't need to. He gave Steven his hand without second thought. The way Steven was looking at him though, pen in hand, pen cap still in his mouth, Andrew couldn't think.

Giving actors a second chance wasn't going as badly as Andrew thought.

Steven had barely written the area code of his number when the door opened again. Both boys were taken out of the moment whenever a man, holding several boxes concealing his face, whistled past them.

The two jumped away from each other. Andrew recognized the figure as Adam and called out to him.

"Need any help?" The tall man with boxes, Adam, didn't phase a beat before saying, "If you got time!"

That was Adam's response anytime Andrew asked the question. Which Andrew always found amusing, considering they were going out to lunch so obviously he had the time.

Adam was past them as fast as he entered, and Andrew noticed Steven looking at him. After an awkward side glance to make sure, Steven cleared his throat.

"I didn't finish." Andrew realized Steven was talking about his number. And suddenly Andrew became very aware of the situation.

Instead of freaking out and walking away, something he would've done weeks ago, Andrew wanted to prove his past self-wrong. He held his hand out, and Steven finished writing his number on the back of Andrew's hand.

After writing his name, Steven kept hold of Andrew's hand. Andrew didn't pull back. Steven went in to write more when a familiar voice piped up.

"Hello." They both looked up to see Adam, headphones around his ears, staring at the two with the most sheepish grin he could control. And Andrew knew that look. And he knew that he knew.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Steven." Steven dropped Andrews hand, which Andrew found himself vaguely upset by, to shake Adams. Adam responded:

"Adam Bianchi. Sound designer. It's a pleasure. Do you mind if I borrow Andrew?"

"Go ahead! I head to rehearsal anyway. I'm a bit… behind, but what's new. Right, Andrew? Anyways, hit me up when you're ready to talk lighting. I want to hear all your ideas!" Steven jogged off into the theatre, and Adam turned to Andrew once he was out of sight.

"Didn't know you were back into dating."

"Shut up Adam. Don't we have sound stuff to bring in?"

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Adam didn't bring it up again until their food came out during lunch. Andrew was a ticking time bomb when it came to discussing dating, which Adam understood. It was all about time.

It had been three years since Andrew had gone on a date though. Adam, as his best bro, had to do something about it. And the way Steven and Andrew were talking and acting was the first sliver of hope Adam had seen.

"So, this Steven guy, huh." The indirect approach was the best one for Andrew. Adam knew to speak sparsely (more than he already did), and let Andrew fill in the gaps.

After swallowing a bite of tortellini, Andrew rambled, "Steven Lim? Ernst in Spring Awakening? What about him?"

Adam considered his next words. "I don't know. His number is just on your hand, that's all. Wanted to ask."

Andrew's face contorted into a face Adam liked to call 'victory'. Andrew's face reddened, and Adam got the answer he had been looking for.

"I don't know. He seems cool. I've never met an actor that has taken an actual interest in lighting. I might message him later tonight."

"You should." Adam knew he didn't need to talk more about the subject. He dug into his fettuccini, leaving Andrew alone to sort out his thoughts over Steven.

\------------------------------------------------------------  
Andrew baked two loaves of bread before messaging Steven. He was nervous. While kneading the dough, possible opening texts ran through his mind. He didn't know what was too strong, or too weak, or what screamed "hey I'm gay and think you're attractive is there any possible way you're into men too?" without directly saying it.

While the loaves were on the drying rack, Andrew grabbed his phone. He had already saved the contact on his phone, worried it would be lost to showering or washing his hands. He quickly typed out a message and hit send before he could change his mind.

Andrew: **hey it's** andrew **, my lighting plot is finally done after a million edits**

Steven messaged back only a few minutes later: **awesome! I was being serious abt wanting to hear all abt lighting. If ur ever free I am down, I can even bring food**

Andrew felt like he was on air. Was this what it was like to be texting a cute boy? They weren't even flirting, but Andrew was ecstatic to be communicating with him on a level other than short encounters.

Andrew: **food always sounds like a plan to me, don't know your acting** sche **dule though. But I have a lot of opinions on lighting if you want to hear them.**

Steven: **I'd love to, andrew. It's kinda soon but maybe Friday? I get out of rehearsal @ 4. I can bring chinese.**   
Steven: **Can I call you andy?**   
Steven: **I hope so bc I already replaced ur name on my phone**

Andrew rolled his eyes. Of course, he didn't mind Steven calling him Andy, it actually made him feel like he was floating a bit, but Andrew couldn't admit that to him.

Friday was three days away. Andrew took a glance around his apartment. It was, for the most part, clean, but he made a mental note to stash some of his stress-baked pastries before Steven came over. He didn't want to weird him out with his weird coping mechanisms before Andrew could talk him to death.

With a puff of confidence, Andrew responded: **sounds good! The Friday thing. Not the andy thing. I will not respond if you call me that in public**

Steven: **andy, I would never. Just between us ;) and see you then!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! a few updates:   
> \- this is now being updated bimonthly! possibly more if i'm up to it, but by bare minimum that  
> \- i have a clear chapter breakdown for this fic now, and it'll be around 15 chapters in the end
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are my lifeblood. they really keep me going when i fall into a depressive haze. taking the time out of your day to read this means a lot to me too. thank you.


	3. chapter three

Although Steven had made the promise of Chinese food, Andrew kept a plate of fresh cookies and muffins set out on his breakfast bar. He couldn’t help himself- although the lighting plot had been finalized by this point, Andrew kept inspecting it, needing to keep busy. It sat on his coffee table, eraser pieces showing where he kept second-guessing every instrument. 

His apartment as a whole hadn't been this clean since the day Andrew moved into it. He needed something to do while the clock ticked down to 5 o' clock, Steven's estimated time of arrival. So, Andrew baked. 

And 5 o' clock passed. Andrew barely noticed, knuckle deep in kneading dough for bread. He didn't return back to reality until he heard his phone ring. Wiping floury hands on his jeans, Andrew grabbed the device and answered the call, finally realizing the time. 

"Andrew, there is a MASSIVE EMERGENCY down at STUDIO B and am I on speaker?" Adam sounded frantic, but Andrew knew better than to give into his act. Adam never called unless it was a fire or death- both occasions Andrew knew Adam would text first. Something was up. 

"Uh… no?" 

"Phew, good," Adam immediately dropped the concerned tone he had, going back to his normal monotone, "just wanted to check in on your big not-date. And provide you a reason for kicking him out if he was being too actor-y." 

Andrew rolled his eyes before sighing into the phone to show his emotions. Adam chuckled back. 

"He's not being too anything. He isn't exactly… here?" 

"Is he in the bathroom? Or bedroom? Or… wait. Don't tell me. He ditched you?!" Adam reverted back to sounding frantic, a surprising twist to his soft voice. 

Andrew didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to disappoint Adam, especially after how excited he was that the two were hanging out, but Andrew didn't want to lie. He realized he had hesitated for too long- Adam would be on guard for a made up story. Andrew didn't have time to respond before Adam muttered: 

"That sucks, I'm sorry man. I thought he was one of the good ones. Actors." 

Andrew hesitated to agree because Steven was one of the good ones. At least, he had been until that point. Steven treated Andrew with respect because he was a genuine person. With other actors, Andrew often felt like he was only seen as a person with "connections" who actors talked to so they could hit him up for a job later down the line. 

And Steven always reciprocated any slightly flirtatious comment Andrew made over text. Andrew didn't know where what he did to get stood up, hands covered in flour in his lonely apartment on a lonely Friday. Andrew shifted the phone to be on speaker and placed it on the breakfast bar, a new determination to finish baking the bread. 

"Yeah, me too." Was all Andrew could muster. 

Adam stayed on the line with Andrew for a while, but at 5:45 Adam had to meet Elizabeth for dinner, so Andrew went back to being alone. 6 o' clock passed, and at 6:11 p.m., Andrew heard knocking on his door. 

Wiping his hands on his apron, which he donned after thinking Steven was a bust, Andrew shoved the pan with the dough into the oven before walking over to the door. The person on the other time began to knock for a second time whenever Andrew flew it open, revealing a disheveled Steven, clutching several grocery bags. 

Andrew would've been embarrassed by his Captain America apron if he expected Steven to show up at all. He was only feeling confusion. 

Steven offered a sheepish grin. 

"You came," Andrew stated, still in shock that Steven was at his doorstep. 

"I did. I am late, which I am so sorry about that, but I will explain everything to you if you let me in." 

Andrew slowly turned his body, allowing the other boy in. Steven rushed in, color returning to his face. He glanced over the room, taking in the details, before turning to the kitchen. Steven stopped behind the counter, not hesitating before setting down the bags and pulling things out. Andrew followed behind him.

"I know this isn't Chinese, but I figured if I was going to be late I should cook you real food. Be prepared for Malaysian-American eats you've never experienced." Andrew chuckled at Steven, taking off his apron and settling it back in the kitchen drawer it lived in. He took a seat at the breakfast bar, watching Steven open a few cabinets to find a pot. Steven filled the pot with water and placed it on the stove to boil before locking eyes with Andrew again, concern clouding his eyes. 

"This is okay, right? I truly am sorry for being late. I do want to hear anything and everything you can tell me about lighting." Andrew shot him a smile, which Steven responded, "Smiling's a good sign, right?" 

Which only made Andrew grin wider. Steven was one of the good ones. "Yes, and you are alright. Sorry, the place is a mess, I started to bake some when I realized I had the time. But it's all good. We can talk about lighting over dinner." 

"Great!" Steven returned back to his tasks, turning to peel some potatoes. Andrew turned up the radio sitting at the end of the breakfast bar, soft R&B filling the room. 

At some point in the Great Steven Lim Cooking Show, Andrew had zoned out. When he came back to his senses, he realized he had been staring. Which, he justified with himself, was just the anxiety of theatre getting to his head. Andrew stared pointedly at Steven's forearms as Steven stirred some rice in a pan, Andrew's gaze turning over to his hands. And then his shoulders. And then Andrew looked back up at Steven's face, to see him staring back at him. Andrew felt his face flush, and Steven chucked lightly. 

"See something you like?" Steven joked, winking before gesturing down to the food. "It's about done. I'm still waiting for an answer." 

Andrew blinked in surprise. Was he asked a question at some point in the past ten minutes? More importantly, was Andrew really ogling Steven like a middle school girl for ten minutes? 

Andrew froze. It had been a while since he caught feelings, and admitting to himself he had a full on, tooth-rotting crush on Steven? It was a big step. But the small butterfly that had been roaming into his stomach turned into a swarm at some point, and there was no point denying it. Plus, Steven could cook, so Andrew couldn't complain. 

But the question. Andrew combed his mind until he remembered, repeating back his best guess: "How did I get into lighting?" Steven nodded, eyes cast on the food.

"It's not that interesting of a story. I auditioned for my high school's production of Les Mis when I was a freshman and didn't get in. My only friend asked me to help after school with lighting and since she was my ride home, I did. I was an electrician for that show and every show after. It was incredible- my eyes were... opened to this massive world of lighting design, and the concept of conveying emotions and themes through colored light, and I never went back to acting. I never could sing, so I guess it's a win-win." 

Steven sat down his spatula, turning to meet Andrew's eyes. "You need to stop doubting your singing voice. And stories- that was interesting. New question, though: where do you keep your plates?" 

Andrew hopped from his spot to open a cabinet. The close proximity usually would put Andrew on edge, but every move felt natural. He handed two plates to Steven, who began dividing up the food on the pan. 

They settled on the couch, Andrew staring intently at the lighting plot and Steven staring intently at Andrew. Andrew shook off his intense gaze. Steven was the first to speak, motioning with his fork to the plot. 

"This looks like abstract art. Please explain." 

Andrew chewed the food he had in his mouth before sitting down the plate altogether, using his hands to point to instruments as he listed them off. 

"Okay, so this is the light plot, which shows where each light is hung, what it's dimmer is, what gel it has, and where it should be pointed at. After hang we go through and focus them all so the stage is even. There's a key on the side in case an electrician is confused. This indicates a shakespeare. That's a PAR, and the blue square looking ones are movers." 

Steven looked back with a blank face. Andrew sighed, realizing he was in a deeper hole then he first thought. 

"Those are all lights we hang. The names indicate their brand, or what they do, for instance: movers can move... when patched into the light board. Patching is- well, patching is lighting board stuff that is boring." 

Steven nodded slowly. Andrew could physically see the wheels turning in his brain and felt horrible. 

"Sorry, am I going too fast? I've never had to explain this to someone outside of lighting." Andrew rocked back and forth, taking this time to take another bite. Steven shook his head. 

"Not at all! I just want to remember it all." Steven leaned over to the coffee table, pointing at the light plot, "Those are movers. Those, shakepeares." Andrew nodded his head, and Steven broke out into a grin. 

"One question though: is gel a light?" Andrew burst out into laughter before realizing Steven was serious. He immediately felt bad, but Steven took his hand into his own and Andrew suddenly didn't care he was laughing at Steven's expense. 

"Stop laughing! It's an honest question." 

Andrew squeezed Steven's hand, lingering for a few moments, before dropping it altogether. From an outside perspective it looked like a friendly gesture, but to Andrew, it was a taste. It felt like was like eating crumbs at the table of intimacy: just enough to realize Andrew wanted more. And the thought slightly scared him, but Andrew reminded himself: Steven was one of the good actors. There was no reason to worry. There was no reason to push anything either- Andrew wasn't entirely sure if Steven returned the feeling, or if Steven even liked men. 

But those were concerns for another time. Andrew looked back down at the lighting plot. 

"No, a gel is what we put in front of a light to change it's color. It's an honest question, but you have a lot to learn, young padawan." 

Steven didn't hesitate before responding, "I'm ready to learn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a week late! I hope it is worth it (haha, see what I did there??! ok I'll leave). any comments, kudos, or bookmarks are greatly appreciated. next update will be next friday still!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! the next chapter will be up before may, i promise. we finally meet he rest of the cast, andrew's lighting crew, and more. any words of encouragement/constructive criticism are always helpful. i want to make this the best it can be. 
> 
> title is from a line from "Spring Awakening", the play. if you haven't had a chance to look it up or read it i highly recommend it.


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